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Everything you want is an inside job.
I can’t make you happy. Your spouse can’t make you happy. You won’t always be happy with your kids or fur babies. Probably not even your job. Food, alcohol, frivolous spending nor promiscuous sex will make you happy.
Actually, it is the outcome of overindulging in those risky behaviors that will have you the opposite of happy. It is not the responsibly of the outside world to bring you joy. You have to find happiness on the inside.
Start by controlling your thoughts.
Your thoughts control your feelings which controls your actions. For example, negative thoughts lead to depression which for some leads to avoidance and isolation. The more negativity you display the more you receive. The law of attraction brings more good or bad depending on what you are requesting.
The key to being happy is knowing you have the power to choose what to accept and what to let go.
I truly understand when bad things happen, It’s hard to be optimistic. Death in the family, job loss or divorce the equivualant of emptiness, fear and failure.
But thus far, you have survived your worse days.
You can’t stay with that emotion. You can’t stay with those harmful thoughts.
The hardest thing to do is to shut off our thoughts. Those of you who have attempted meditation can tell the story… your mind is constantly thinking 🤔 about something.
Personally, the only way I have been able to combat this is to recognize negative thoughts when they appear and choose not to sit with them. I may change my environment, listen or read something motivational or play uplifting music.
Learn and grow.
There is no such thing as mistakes only lessons learned. I remember in school if you failed a test you may be asked to retake the test. In life you may be asked to retake that same test over and over again.
Ask yourself, what is there to learn from this experience? How can I do things differently or better next time? Where was I at fault for the outcome of this situation and how can I change ME in order to receive different results?
There is always a lesson to be learned for every failure or disappointment. I like to try and think of my setbacks as a setup for a comeback. You should too!
Be slow to anger and quick to listen.
Stating the obvious…It’s really hard to be angry and happy.
James 1:19 reads, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger.”
Sometimes you just want to get your point across. If I am just waiting for my next chance to speak then I am not listening. I notice there are times when I am really good at this and times when I am not. Although I can honestly say I have always caught more flies with honey. (Meaning to be sweet or choose kindness.)
Plus you never know what someone is going through. Luckily a good majority of people mean well. I remember needing this talent more when working in the emergency department. This is a place where attitudes run rapidly.
People are in pain, impatient, anxious, and afraid. I think while working in the ER I learned to be a better listener. I also remember my graduate professors stating… choose your diagnosis by listening to the patient ” the answer is in the history”.
Have a Grateful Heart.
Is there anything or anyone you may be taking for granted. I once learned of a gratitude journal that really helped put into perspective the benefit of writing down the things you are grateful for. For example, I appreciate how such and such always opens the door for me. Or this hotel sucks but I am glad to be in this box with my family. NOTE TO SELF: Research hotels and plan ahead! Try to have an “attitude of gratitude”, especially in difficult situations, it helps you to see the bigger picture.
Having A grateful heart towards something or someone you have felt negatively about helps you see the important things you may have forgotten.
Happiness is a journey and not a destination. It ebbs and flows. But I have learned… I Control it!